Creating Inviting, Thriving Religious Communities

By Maha Elgenaidi, Founder and Executive Director (Bio)

September 15, 2025

Across the United States, many are quietly becoming what some call “unchurched,” “unmosqued,” or “unaffiliated,” still faithful, yet no longer rooted in the institutions they once called home. They pray, they seek meaning, they gather but increasingly beyond the walls of organized religious institutions.

Faith institutions are experiencing declining affiliation, even as some groups are seeing shrinking membership. Many people still attend weekly services—such as Friday Jum‘ah prayers for Muslims—out of habit or obligation yet feel little lasting connection to the institutions themselves. Among younger generations especially, religious identity is increasingly untethered from institutional loyalty.

Many are not abandoning faith itself but are turning toward third spaces, small private gatherings, study groups, or even solitary practice rooted in family and friendships. What they are leaving behind are the rigid, dull, and often exclusionary cultures of too many religious institutions.

These forces often show up in subtle but corrosive ways, most visibly through authoritarianism, patriarchy, and racism. Unless these challenges are addressed head-on, communities that claim to represent timeless spiritual values will continue to shrink.

Authoritarianism

Authoritarianism in religion is not always obvious. It emerges when one viewpoint dominates the culture of an institution, and its structures are designed to preserve that dominance. Sometimes it’s a particular school of thought or denomination, sometimes a political or ideological position dressed in religious clothing. The outcome is predictable: dissent is silenced, innovation is shut down, and those who think differently are pushed out. 

This is not just a matter of theology; it is a matter of survival. When people sense that curiosity, dialogue, or nuance are unwelcome, they disengage. Especially for business leaders or younger generations accustomed to diversity of thought, a “my way or the highway” approach guarantees they will choose the highway.

Patriarchy

Patriarchy is equally corrosive. Too many communities still treat women as second-class participants in spiritual life. In some, women are barred outright from leadership. In others, they are invited in but dismissed or disrespected once they arrive. And in many, women are tolerated only as long as they support authoritarian ideologies and structures, and refrain from challenging dominant authorities or viewpoints.

The consequences go beyond the women themselves. Families take notice when mothers, sisters, or daughters are marginalized. Spouses and children sense that exclusion and disengage as well. In the process, institutions lose the talent, creativity, and moral authority that women bring. A community that sidelines half its members cannot thrive.

Racism

Then there is racism. Some communities privilege certain ethnic groups over others, White over Black, Arab over South Asian, or similar hierarchies depending on the context. This undermines any claim to universal moral authority. People who feel consistently marginalized will not stay, nor should they.

In increasingly diverse societies, homogeneity in leadership or culture sends a clear signal: only some truly belong. Religious communities that fail to embrace diversity are not only unjust; they are irrelevant to the lives of those they claim to serve.

Lessons from Thriving Organizations

These dynamics are not unique to religion. Corporations and civic institutions also wrestle with authoritarian cultures, sexism, and racism. But thriving organizations have learned that long-term success requires openness, inclusion, and adaptability. Religious communities should take note.

1.  Build a culture of safety and honesty

Members need to know they can ask hard questions about scripture, leadership, or community practices without fear of being silenced.

Just as research on high-performing teams shows psychological safety is the most important factor for success, congregations thrive when doubt and disagreement are welcomed as part of spiritual growth.

• Begin organizational meetings with a “voice check” where each person can raise a concern or new idea.
• Hold short debriefs after major services: What went well? What can we do better?
• Post clear norms like “no interruptions” and “respect differences.”

2.  Share leadership, don’t centralize it

Authoritarian drift happens when all decisions funnel through one person or a small circle. Distributed governance—giving committees real authority and ensuring two-way communication—prevents overreach and burnout.

• Define decision domains: budgets, worship, education, outreach.
• Use consent-based decision-making: move forward unless there’s a reasoned objection.
• Ensure “double links”: committees send reps to the council, and council members sit in committees.

3.  Put some of the budget in members’ hands

Participatory budgeting (PB) has energized cities worldwide, and it can do the same for congregations. Allocating a small slice of program dollars to member-driven projects increases engagement and trust.

• Dedicate 5–10% of funds to PB.
• Invite proposals from youth, women’s groups, and underrepresented members.
• Let the community vote, fund the top ideas, and report back publicly.

4.  Replace “culture fit” with fair and structured selection

Too often, leaders are chosen informally, favoring those already in the inner circle. Structured processes reduce bias and bring in stronger leaders.

• Use rubrics that define the competencies needed for each role.
• Ask candidates for work samples: a draft plan for the role they are seeking, a youth curriculum, or a service project design.
• Track who speaks and rotate “housekeeping” tasks to interrupt bias.

5.  Put women in consequential leadership, and resource them

Including women isn’t just symbolic. Studies across sectors show organizations perform better with diverse leadership. Religious communities gain credibility and creativity when women are fully empowered.

• Set a floor of 50% women in leadership bodies.
• Provide mentorship, stipends, and visibility for women leaders.
• Ensure women chair finance, education, and charity committees, not just a “women’s committee” or “women’s ministry.”

6.  Reflect the diversity of your members and neighbors

If leadership doesn’t mirror the community’s demographics, the signal is clear: some belong more than others.

• Publish an annual representation dashboard comparing leadership, membership, and neighborhood demographics.
• Set measurable goals to close gaps in representation.
• Pair leaders of different backgrounds to co-chair major ministries.

7.  Design for hybrid belonging, not just streaming

Livestreams aren’t enough. Digital engagement should be interactive and relational.

• Create a digital foyer where members can join groups or request support in under a minute.
• Run short-cycle small groups (6–8 weeks) both online and onsite.
• Track engagement: groups joined, volunteer hours, and next steps, not just views.

8.  Strengthen small groups and mentoring

Large services inspire; small groups sustain. People stay when they have meaningful relationships and growth opportunities.

• Pair every new member with a mentor for the first 90 days.
• Offer small groups tied to sermon series, festivals, or justice initiatives.
• Train facilitators to guide discussion, not dominate it.

9.  Measure what matters, and act on it

If you’re not asking your members how they’re experiencing the community, you’re guessing.

• Run quarterly pulse surveys: Do you belong? Do you feel heard? Do you trust leadership?
• After major services, ask: “Would you bring a friend next time?”
• Share results openly and commit to two concrete changes each cycle.

Choosing Shared Leadership Over Authoritarianism

The deeper issue is whether communities choose shared leadership or authoritarianism in their internal cultures. Shared leadership means fostering debate, encouraging participation, and ensuring accountability. It means leaders who serve rather than dominate. It means recognizing that no one group has a monopoly on truth or wisdom.

This does not weaken religious tradition, it strengthens it. Traditions that cannot withstand dialogue, diversity, and adaptation do not demonstrate strength; they reveal fragility.

The Path Forward

The decline of religious institutional affiliation is not inevitable. People still long for belonging, meaning and purpose. But they will no longer tolerate institutions that silence dissent, are against new ideas, creative strategies, and innovation, which marginalize women, or elevate one ethnic group over another. They will seek out spaces that practice the values they preach: openness, justice, compassion, and equality.

If faith communities want to survive, they must do more than preserve rituals. They must reform cultures. They must dismantle authoritarianism, patriarchy, and racism, and replace them with inclusion, creativity, and accountability.

The playbook is clear, including from the lives and teachings of the Prophet Muhammad and all of the prophets, peace be upon them, which you can read about here. Communities that choose openness, inclusion, and accountability will grow stronger. Those that cling to outdated systems of exclusion will keep watching their members walk away.